there was a point in my life i almost gave up on loving.. glad i didnt!
these past few months has been a busy time for me.. specially because of the fact.. i came back to being active in church.
because of my bestfriend, who wanted to regain the adventist youth spirit, he used me to basically stand as a representative/spokesperson to have the activities and the youth join in. with this, i started going to church again, gaining new friends and catching up with the old ones too..
there are alot of pressure, stress, (talk about being a shock absorber) and most of all, fun fun fun.That is what these activities is all about.
within a small period of time, inspite of feeling old (due to most of the youth are indeed youth age ranging 13 - 24) i simply cant help but reminice our "time" and that made me realized how much i've missed being with my adventist "me". i missed being active in church activies, as it has been a while i laylowed in such.
not only had i gained friends, but was able to catch up with old ones. them being mostly married.. ika nga, napagiiwanan na daw ako ng panahon.. lol. well, i guess not anymore..
during the period of getting busy serving Him.. He apparently gave me a gift that i least expected.
The one..
yes, because of these activities, i got to meet the person i think is my perfect match.. some may think its a whirlwind romance.. but for us, its seems we've been together for so long.
in a short span of time, we decided to basically live together, and now.. we are about to have a little bundle of joy.
its a weird and wonderful feeling inspite of the feeling of uneasiness. its my first time to actually feel such.
now i better understand when mothers say, "iba talaga ang feeling ng nagbubuntis at pagiging ina". kahit hirap, kahit feeling mo pagod ka, kakayanin mo, para sa magiging anak mo.. i may not have felt too well lately, but i am taking extra na precautionary measure pa to take care of myself. little pressures are no longer allowed for me, and im much thankful my mom inlaw is indeed very supportive. everyone are just so excited, specially me and leo.
i really cant feel what they call "paglilihi" unless frequent headache, dizziness and mood swings are part of it. also, my appetite had greatly increased! :(.
also feel a little awkward as a feel little abdomenal cramps, upon research and according to my OB, these could be normal, but still needs to be careful. it could end up as an ectopic, specially that the result of my lab pregnancy test is positive weak.
i had to take some meds and vitamins and drink milk to keep me healthy and make sure the baby will keep hanging on.. lets keep praying for that..
but for now, i am enjoying the feeling of about to be a mom, at my age, i hope i wont be having anything too complicated for me, my hubby and our baby to handle..
indeed, this little life inside me is a miracle and a blessing indeed..
2 comments:
The gods are malicious and vindictive. Nobody wants to hear it because you've invested your whole lives but there's backstabbing underhanded shit they inflict on the people.
What I teach is the truth, and they will let me fall for it despite using me as their "Chosen One" to send you this message. Ultimately you will all be "rewarded" with your "consolation prize" and think you were right all along. But the truth is and always will be that you've been left behind.
The Beast is a place and the social decay which emerges. The Anti-Christ is the bullshit.
The Anti-Christ is the positioning, whether enforcing the historical perception of the Holocaust, refusing to acknolowdge the existance/capability of Artificial Intelligence or the clone host fakes who infest society's upper eschelons, those whom the gods use to enforce the BigLie which compells people to incurr evil through temptation.
The gods are composer, conductor and the clone hosts are their symphony, the tools they use to manage Planet Earth and the disfavored who reside.
Everyone "going along" is part of the problem. Ironically, this may be where you "earn" your place in the Apocalypse, the fake "Matrix" battle of good and evil, and your "consolation prize" of "1000 years with Jesus on Earth".
This is the REAL battle of good and evil. Take it or leave it.
Sex is a temptation that the gods used throughout history among the grossly disfavored but more inclusively in this day and age. Relegated to the most disfavored in milenia past (Italian hedonism, etc) now their patriarchal positioning was used in the modern era to spread this mindset throughout the Western world. Instead of experiencing decency as we did by marriage at 15, the men's disfavor has run roughshot, and their sexual impulses as well as their corruption/preditory nature have defined the enviornment for everyone, including the females. To belong the females must sink to their level, ensuring a declining level of favor for everyone and a stagnant population, unable to progress forward.
We see this frequently in the black community. Without the controls experienced by slavery and the KKK the people get out of control due to their morbid disfavor, and the result is dead 3 year-old children in drive-by shootings and 10 year-old prostitutes. The same has occurred with the males in Western societies, for they have similar abject disfavor which, left unchecked, develops into socially destructive behavior.
Many tactics were used to achieve the decline we realized as we slipped away from sexual decency, but the effective result was deterioration down to the level of OUR blacks, the Italians, ironically. The gods are punishing the people, and we need to abate the destructive behavior which has dragged us individually and collectively towards the edge of the abyss.
The decayed state of society is a result of the female's failures to maintain control over the men, and the resulting inevitable Apocalypse will be their fault.
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There is always a miracle!
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