what might have been...

here i go again, lying restless in bed
thinking about things that goes above my head
things about happiness, love, life and all
about "what if"s, could've been, either big or small

ive thought of my past relationships;
both about love and friendships
the difference between the two,
when one had become after the other

i used to have a "him"
who was a friend turned lover;
but things didnt worked out;
and so decided to find another;

i used to have a friend; who apparently became special;
having an "us" did not work; due to distance differential;
but friendship bloomed more, even after confrontations
we're better off that way, with no further expectations

i also had "what if" and shouldve been "him"
sometimes, i still give it some thoughts
just thinking about it could make me beam;
perhaps a second chance for whatever its worth

there are also those whom i wish i hadnt met
cause all they did was cause me pain
but those are still people i will never forget
they made me stronger, not all was in vain

having to look back, for all aches i've been through
i still manage to smile; and say i wont be blue
im still looking forward in meeting "you"
not mr perfect, but someone i would want to say "i do" ....